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Shuffling through the folders that lay in a milk crate under my
computer desk, I searched frantically for the folder. Mom is
going to have my tail if I lost that folder! My Mother, JoNell
Whitstine retired from professional tournament fishing at the
end of 2006. This was a very solemn time for me as my sister
Carla Whitstine retired as well. A trio down to well, virtually
a zero is how I felt. Now, “where is that folder?” (breaking a
new fingernail).
Mom had
passed on to me, her many years of writing down secret holes and
lures for any lake across the country you can imagine. When she
placed them in my hands, I felt like someone had just put 11
years of sweat and tears in my hands and also as though I had
just been kicked in the gut. She said “Now these will come in
handy if you continue to fish, and there are a lot of contacts
in there as well. Just tell them you are my youngest daughter
and odds are they will help you out.”
Mom knows
me like a book. She knows that I cling by my teeth to make each
event and the word GUIDE to me receives a quick, cannot afford
it. So to me those folders were priceless. Okay, there's Neely
Henry, Eufaula, Seminole; where is Red River? Whew! There it is
at the bottom of the milk crate. As I blew the dust off the
folder and opened it, a smile comes across my face as I see all
my mothers notes and interesting pictures she drew; probably
while talking to someone on the phone, scribbling none the less.
It brought a tear to my eye, but I could not let go of the
smile.
I see places
marked on the map stating, good hole, big fish here, careful
when running this area and I also see several names and phone
numbers. I decide I need to call some of these contacts to see
if I can get some help and advice from a few of the locals and
guides. I pick up the phone and the next thing I know I am
hanging it up again. What if they forgot who JoNell Whitstine
is? Then I will look like a total idiot! So I decided to call
mom.
She answers
the phone and I say” Hi mom, got a question for you. Do you know
such and such? She said “um… yeah, I think I remember.” At that
moment I breathe a sigh of relief. I didn't call. Odds were
they probably didn't remember her either. She said “if they are
in the folder Sammie Jo, give them a call.” I said “well Mom,
why don't you call for me?” She laughs and said “I have a better
idea, why don't you call?”
Well, my
smile turned more so into a pout. I said “MOM”! She said “this
is your ballgame, get in there and play.” “UGH.. ok.. talk to
you later mom, thanks.” I got off the phone and stared at those
numbers for a few minutes and then closed the dusty folder; not
to look at it for a few weeks. During that time mom asked me if
I had contacted any of them, I said not yet, though the real
answer was No.
As I start
putting everything together and getting my reservations and
everything lined up I realize I am running out of time and the
reality also kicks in that I will be doing this event alone,
without my Mother and my sister. I began to get that “kicked in
the gut” feeling all over again. I opened the folder and stared
at those numbers again. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed
the first number; closing my eyes as the phone rang in my ear,
at the same time thinking please don't be home. I heard a deep
voice, ”Hello? Hello?” “Um… Yes Sir...Hi! My mother, JoNell
Whitstine, said you are the man I need to talk to about the Red
River. He cleared his throat and let out a loud chuckle. “Uh
oh....” he said, “JoNell Whitstine, I love that lady. How is
JoNell doing?”
WHEW... I
spent the next 30 minutes on the phone with one of the nicest
people I have ever met. On to the second and third on the list!
Every single one of them remembered my mom and was more than
grateful to help me. After I hung up the phone, again I found
myself sitting at the computer with a smile. My mother had not
only made an impact on me, but I realized she had made that
impact on many others. I know why my mom did not make that phone
call for me; the same reason she has made me make so many other
first steps in my life; to learn to do things on my own, and
lose the f ear of failure.
So even
though she won't be with me on the water, I can look across at
all the boats with their running lights on waiting to take off,
searching through the crowd for the comfort of my mother, I will
instead be looking inside myself for the strength and guidance
she has given me. Thanks Mom!
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